Holiday Cheers to Lemons & Dysfunction
It’s Thanksgiving Day, and I’m writing this blog while sitting on the couch with my handsome dog, Elliott, watching updates on the past Diddy Freak-off parties on YouTube and eating microwave pancakes. Luck would have it; I got the flu, and I can’t go to my family for the holidays, but oddly enough, this Thanksgiving has been one of the best ones ever. Being alone during this holiday has given me time to process what I’m thankful for—which is a lot.
I will be turning 60 next month on January 29th. I have the same birthday as Oprah Winfrey. I don’t know if sharing a birthday with the queen of media is a good thing, mainly since allegedly Oprah has attended many of Diddy’s Freak-off parties, ha-ha. Honestly, I don’t believe this fake news. I can’t see Oprah rubbing herself with baby oil and taking shots of Tequila with Justin Bieber, Tommy Lee, and Bishop T.D. Jakes... but I also would never have thought Bill Cosby, “America’s Favorite Dad”, would have drugged over 60 females, and “America’s Greatest Male Athlete”, Bruce Jenner, is now Caitlyn Jenner, an older, somewhat attractive female reality star. And who would have ever known Ellen DeGeneres, “America’s Queen of Kindness”, is now “Her Majesty of Mean”. Okay, I’m getting off track here. The codeine from my cough medicine must be kicking in, and the Diddy updates on TV are distracting me - so I’ll continue my holiday blog when I feel better...
- 1 MONTH LATER -
Talk about procrastination. It’s now the end of December, and I feel much better and ready to complete this Holiday Dysfunction blog. By the way, my apologies. All my projects have the theme of dysfunction. Is there no better word to describe life, particularly the holidays? Spending time alone during Thanksgiving and the weekend after allowed me to reflect on what I’m thankful for and the beautiful people in my life who are delightfully dysfunctional. We are all a bit off and come from flawed families.
Dysfunction makes our lives so enjoyable, and as a writer, malfunctioning memories make the best stories. So the next time your uncle tells a horrible joke about Cajun hookers at Walmart, or your neighbor informs you that her dog finally had a bowel movement, or your dear friend, who continues to be obsessed with the weather, losing weight, and the FOX Network, will not listen to your thoughts, welcome their imperfections just as you should accept your own. Remember, when life throws you lemons this holiday season, make lemon drop shots or lemonade if you’re on the 12-Step Program.
Lemons, dysfunction, and all - I’m blessed and very THANKFUL for you ALL.
I wish each of you a fantastic 2026!
Much love - David
